The news came with the force and power of a truck tearing through my deepest emotions – I held on to the table to steady myself, determined not to collapse under the weight of the instant grief – death had crept in and demanded complete access. There was an assault on my faith – questions about my desire for purity and set apartness to be used by God. Emotions “stormed” in and flooded my entire being. I did not see this coming – I was “Blindsided”
– It seemed I had let my guard down, began thinking I had held a place of honor during our times of fellowship, sharing meals and laughter, which at times provided much healing for my exhausted soul. Being “blindsided” can have devastating effects – but over time – I have been taught many lessons. God continues to show me my weaknesses through the losses I have suffered. Where sin has had a strangle hold on my loyalty to Him – He exposes the idols in my life: People – My own dreams – Things I have used for comfort – My desire to belong to a family – Sometimes even my love affair with food. All are illegitimate ways to fulfill a legitimate need.
Where was my Belt of Truth? Over time I had put it away for safe keeping and began relying on the words of others, my own understanding, to keep me “afloat” in my journey of faith. My “flotation” device must be the Word of God and His Holy Spirit.
While I was being groomed by God to take the “Baton” of faith – to be used in the next generation to impact His Kingdom – I was “tripped” up in the race of my life – by the words of the Enemy. He is the accuser of the brethren. I laid wounded – bloodied – gasping for air because I had let my guard down. I was forced to inspect my life – with the mirror of God’s Word – able to see the breach – where the wall was in ruins. I had become so comfortable – I did not recognize “all” the warning signs. There was danger up ahead but my vision was obscured – because I had begun to put my trust in man – “Blindsided”
Determined to gain the victory – I needed to stay close to my Shepherd – He began to set a table before me in the presence of my enemy – I began to eat choice foods from God’s Word – and cried out to Him continually for deliverance from my emotional struggles. I needed to face the “giant” head on with the strength and courage He would provide. As time progressed – the pain gradually diminished, and the force of the news began to dissipate. My longing to be free from those “iron chains” had overshadowed the sweet fellowship I had once enjoyed. There was now only room for One God in my life. As a captive – I needed freedom and God’s Word was the only way – the birthing of new life is painful – it’s messy – there will be discomfort. But God had declared that I am a new creation – I must continually live in that reality, if not I will be “Blindsided”
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